


And The Empty Space I Couldn't Fill In

by hunniesfw



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Light Angst, M/M, Painter Baekhyun, Post-Break Up, Romance, Short Story, Singer chanyeol, based on jongdae's hello
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunniesfw/pseuds/hunniesfw
Summary: There's never supposed to be a goodbye.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	And The Empty Space I Couldn't Fill In

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short story I wrote for like two hours. It's based on Chen's "Hello". Listen to the song first before reading this!

Chanyeol slowly poured the whiskey into an expensive looking glass, settling the bottle back down on the table. Some of the liquor trickled down the neck of the bottle and the table, making a little circle around the base of it. 

A huge hand took the glass by the rim and swirled it a couple of times before bringing the glass up to his lips. The burn on his throat is instantaneous, he swallowed the liquid fire before putting down the glass back to the table. 

Papers. Lots of papers are surrounding Chanyeol.

Some of it is crumpled, some are slightly wrinkled, there are a few folded ones and there are also fresh clean ones. 

Chanyeol grabbed a new clean sheet before laying it down in front of him. 

Numerous pens are also surrounding Chanyeol. He wasted a lot of ink on papers that he’ll just throw away but he couldn’t careless. It needs to be perfect.

This song needs to be perfect.

He’s been spending most of his time in his studio, locking himself up and only going out when needed. His friends worry for him but he always assures them that he’ll be okay. Just not now. Not until he’s done with this song. 

With blank eyes, he stared at the paper. 

What is he even going to write? What is he even going to relay through these lyrics?

Chanyeol cannot define his emotions, his feelings and what he really wants at this moment.

What is this song supposed to be about? Goodbye?

He isn’t that ready to say goodbye yet. 

Is this supposed to be about closure?  
  


Yes. It’s supposed to be but Chanyeol can never really end it. It already ended but he can’t say farewell to it yet. He doesn’t want it to fade in the back of his brain. 

He doesn’t want it to… leave. 

He wrote the word “Goodbye” to the paper… Like he said, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. He doesn’t want to let it slip on the gaps of his fingers so he feels stupid for writing it. 

Chanyeol wrote too many love songs to count. 

During those six years that he has been with Baekhyun, all he could ever write were love songs. All of those songs were happy and all about spending lifetime with each other. 

Never once did Chanyeol write anything about bidding his farewell.

But now he is in this stage. He’s in the stage where his heart can’t beat properly without reminiscing about Baekhyun. He’s in the stage where he feels empty. He’s in the state where getting up in the morning is so hard because he’d always feel the cold area right to his left. 

He’s in the state where he can’t even do anything that doesn’t remind him about Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun was his getaway. 

He disconnects from the world through Baekhyun.

But he never realized how much it would hurt to go to different places just to get away _from_ Baekhyun. 

It’s hard to forget all those memories he shared for the past six years of his life in a snap of a finger. Sometimes, he wished that he’ll just wake up and not remember anything from those previous years.

Because it hurts.

It hurts to even breathe in this suffocating world without Baekhyun who gave him life. Chanyeol couldn’t even imagine his life back then without Baekhyun but now he’s forced to face it.

But it’s not Baekhyun’s fault. It’s not Chanyeol’s fault either.

Is it anyone’s fault when both of them fell out of love?

However, you can say it’s Chanyeol’s job that started picking at the seams of their relationship.

Being a singer that’s loved by hundreds and thousands of people is hard. Especially when it comes to having a relationship. Chanyeol wouldn’t mind spending 22 hours of his day, singing to the crowd. 

As long as he gets to come home to Baekhyun.

But it was hard to keep together a secret relationship. Chanyeol barely had time for himself. When he wakes up, he barely could kiss Baekhyun goodbye before he needs to leave to attend his schedules. 

Baekhyun was always supportive though. He never complained about Chanyeol’s missing presence. Baekhyun never told Chanyeol to stop whatever he’s doing. 

Baekhyun would choose Chanyeol’s job over himself.

He’s that kind. He’s that self-less,

But everything has a breaking point. It just so happened that Chanyeol is tired and Baekhyun is also tired. It wasn’t the prettiest breakup but they were both mature to end their relationship and stay as friends.

Only this time, Chanyeol is suffering. 

The breakup didn’t affect him at first.

Then it suddenly hit him like a bullet on the head.

It hit him that Baekhyun was gone. It hit him that he doesn’t have anyone to come home to. 

It hit him that Baekhyun doesn’t love him anymore.

And now he’s stuck in his studio.

He’s stuck in this studio with alcohol, paper and a pen to keep him company. 

Chanyeol poured himself another drink, chugging it down in one go before putting the glass back to its spot. 

He picked up the thin pen and drew random circles all over the paper. 

Chanyeol drew a continuous line, some loops and messy shapes before stopping. 

Now that he looks at it… it looks like a telephone’s coil cord. 

He shook his head because of how arbitrary that was. 

Chanyeol was about to crumple the paper again when it dawned upon him. 

What if he makes this song, that is about saying goodbye to Baekhyun,- as a telephone conversation? 

But doesn’t every telephone conversation start with a… _hello?_

\----

Why is it raining again? Why is it always so gloomy these days? 

The sky is just a dark blue, without any clouds and any sun to at least give a bit of brightness to Baekhyun’s world? 

Metaphorically speaking though, Baekhyun’s world never brightened up again when Chanyeol walked out of that door. 

It’s like the light turned its back on him and left him to agonize by himself. 

He was left blind when Chanyeol packed his bags and never once turned around to give Baekhyun a second look before leaving. 

His brain is flying somewhere far, while his hands have a mind on its own. He picks up the paint using his brush and dabbed it on the blank canvas. 

What is Baekhyun even painting?

What does Baekhyun even want to paint?

He hasn't even established what he wanted to paint so what are his hands painting?

Long black lines made its way to the canvas, portraying a pathwalk that stands above the beautiful lake. The bluish white paint on his brush mixed with the still wet pastel pink on the background, creating a soft lavender color that Baekhyun thinks is beautiful.

He’s been sitting here for a few hours now. Not a single stroke of paint marked his canvas.

Should he paint something bright and happy? 

Even if he wants to, he can’t. 

He’s not happy enough to produce a happy painting. 

He’s just gonna end up painting a storm, not just on the canvas but in his heart as well. 

Baekhyun bit his lip as he didn’t stop painting. He wanted to see what his hands wanted to paint. He wanted to see what hours of blankness has led his mind to.

Chanyeol was his muse. He was the only source of motivation and inspiration for Baekhyun. He was his lifeline. 

Chanyeol can give him a simple smile and he would be able to paint a thousand canvas that reflects what he feels about that smile.

Chanyeol could send him a look, and he’d be able to draw a flower field that somehow symbolizes how beautiful the man is.

Chanyeol could make love to him, and he’d be able to paint the same exact feeling he felt with just one color.

But Chanyeol left.

And now he can’t paint.

Technically, he can. But would the artworks turn out like his previous artworks that were heavily influenced by his love for the singer? 

No.

And the pain for not being able to do that is agonizing.

He’s always been there for Chanyeol. With whatever decision Chanyeol made, Baekhyun was there to stand by him and make sure the singer knew he supported him.

And then suddenly, Chanyeol made a decision to break up with Baekhyun.

When did Baekhyun ever decline Chanyeol’s decisions? 

Never.

Baekhyun watched his heart being pulled apart at the seams when Chanyeol’s touch turned cold. But at the same time, he never realized how his fingertips resemble icebergs too.

They fell apart. 

And Baekhyun supported it. 

Like he always does.

So now he’s here. He’s sitting in his stool, an image of a beautiful lake brightened up by the sunset right in front of him.

An ugly scoff left his lips as he settled down his brushes and his paints on the table beside him.

They already said goodbye.

But Baekhyun kept going back to Chanyeol.

There’s a picture of a beautiful lake in front of him, with a wooden pathway standing on it. Pink and blue are mixed together to show a peaceful and serene sky that has feathery clouds all over it. The yellow coming from the side is because of the sun illuminating the whole place.

Baekhyun knows exactly where this place is. 

The painter grabbed the cup of his coffee that is now cold and drank his dosage of caffeine. 

He’s painted this image a thousand times before. It always looked the same but how does it feel this time?

It feels cold.

The lake feels frozen for Baekhyun. The wooden pathway feels like it’s too brittle to walk on. The clouds feel like they’re gonna form up together and rain down on the place. The sun feels too dull and Baekhyun thinks it’s gonna fade away again.

Right when Baekhyun thought he'd be happy, right when Baekhyun thought this painting would be his getaway from the sadness of his world… he realized how wrong it was.

This painting isn’t happy at all.

No matter how bright his paints and colors are, the feeling of coldness and pain remains the same.

Chanyeol still doesn’t love him.

Chanyeol still won’t love him.

Baekhyun huffed and stared down at his cup. The brown liquid reflected his face and the painter saw how sad he looked. 

The lake is his and Chanyeol’s favorite spot. They went there to unwind, to have a picnic, to getaway from the public eye… They went there when they loved each other with the fullest of their hearts.

Would it finally make a difference when Baekhyun goes there this time? 

What if Baekhyun went to that lake again, with his heart and head empty? 

Will he finally be able to leave Chanyeol behind? 

Or are the memories just gonna overwhelm to the point that he’ll use the water to see his reflection and tell that he’s never gonna be okay again?

\----

Chanyeol knows where he is going.

He knows where his heart should be. 

But at the same time, he feels as if his heart won’t ever feel the same way because even if he visited that lake a million times- a large chunk of his heart won’t ever be filled because Baekhyun took that with him. 

Nonetheless, Chanyeol kept driving.

The clouds above are pretty and the sky is clear. The sun is gonna come down soon so Chanyeol rushed his car on the road to get there on time.

The lake is the most beautiful during sunset. 

Before, Baekhyun would always play his music on the car’s radio whenever they’re going to the lake. He’d always open the window and sing the lyrics with all of his heart and Chanyeol would always smile and listen.

Baekhyun is so beautiful when he’s happy.

But now, Chanyeol stared at the passenger seat of his car.

It’s empty… But he wished it wasn’t.

He stepped out of the car once it was properly parked and breathed in the warm breeze. 

His feet walked the familiar steps towards the pathway of the lake. 

His breath got caught up on his throat when he saw a familiar figure at the end of the wooden pathway. 

His heart has never raced this fast in a while and to feel it once again- Chanyeol could cry. It just made him feel like he’s alive and that he’s gonna be alright.

Just the mere sight of Baekhyun could give him the feeling of being alive.

Slowly, the figure turned around. 

Two pairs of brown eyes met.

Two hearts started beating again.

It wasn’t a sunny day today but now it is.

Chanyeol slowly walked down the pathway. 

He was now in front of Baekhyun.

_“Hello.”_

A little smile appeared on the painter’s lips as he stared up at Chanyeol.

_“Hello.”_

Chanyeol is here. 

Again.

Chanyeol smiled back at him. He could barely speak because of how fast his heart is beating.

_“Are you doing well?”_

Baekhyun let out a little chuckle. It’s funny how before coming in here, Baekhyun felt like his whole world was gonna end. But now that Chanyeol is right in front of him, it’s like the sun rose back up again and told him that the storm is over..

_“I’m alright now. What about you? Are you doing well?”_

Chanyeol smiled.

_“I feel so much better now that I’m here.”_

Baekhyun’s painting at home will be thrown away when he comes back. 

He doesn’t need to see how lifeless that image was. 

Because his real happiness is here. Right in front of him. Smiling at him and the whole world feels so much better.

When Chanyeol goes back to the studio, the pen and papers waiting for him will be discarded.

There’s no need to write a song about closure now.

Because no matter how much they try to end it, they’ll always come back to the same words.

It’s always gonna be a “ _hello'' and_ there’s always gonna be a question of “ _are you doing well?”._

Because sometimes, hellos doesn’t need goodbyes. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Leave a lot of comments because I really read all of them! You can comment in my curiouscat too.
> 
> curiouscat.me/hunniesfw


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